Crazy Asian Driver
by Tohdoh
Summary: Never again will Wasabi ever eat lunch on the run. Especially with GoGo behind the wheel.  [Oneshot]


**As expected, GoGo Tomago was my favorite character after seeing BH6. I thought GoGo and Wasabi's interactions during the car chase scene were hilarious, so I wanted to play with that dynamic here. Hope you like.**

* * *

><p><strong>Crazy Asian Driver<strong>

With a furrowed brow and biting on his bottom lip, Wasabi surveyed the sushi bar's selection of take-out bento boxes with utmost scrutinization and care.

"I hate it when when the sushi and wasabi touch," he muttered to himself. "Can't they just put the wasabi in a separate container?"

He perused through, looking for one that had sushi entirely free of wasabi proximity and contamination. He hated the feeling wasabi gave him as soon as he tasted it. He'd be better off without its existence. Of course, in an ironic twist, he was aptly nicknamed Wasabi so he'd never forget the very substance he despised.

A few feet behind, GoGo Tomago folded her arms across her chest and tapped her right foot in a showy display of impatience. "Come on, we don't have all day. We're gonna be late for class. You know how Dr. Callaghan hates tardiness. Now's not the time to be picky."

Wasabi finally settled for tempura shrimp wrapped in seaweed and rice. GoGo was barely out of the door when she had already crunched in the onigiri she ordered. Wasabi had always wondered how she could wolf down her food so quickly. Then again, everything GoGo did was all about speed and quickness. She certainly didn't live life in the slow lane. As for himself, Wasabi preferred savoring his food and appreciating the beauty of Japanese food presentation. But as he followed his friend into her car, he realized with a sinking heart that enjoying his lunch today might not be possible.

GoGo glanced at her watch. She tsked in annoyance. "Should've gone to drive-thru at some fast food place," she muttered. She had no time to listen and sing along to her favorite Mandopop boy bands, as she'd usually do in her leisure. Now was go time.

With deliberate care Wasabi opened his bento box, then slammed the lid shut and yelped as GoGo slammed her foot on the gas pedal. He felt himself being thrown back into the leather seat, as if sheer acceleration just pummeled him in a wrestling smackdown. GoGo's face was one of intense concentration and determination. She weaved and darted through traffic, cutting sharp corners and making Wasabi feel very much unsettled and unsafe.

"H-hey GoGo, might wanna slow down a bit? You know, so we won't break any traffic laws or worse,_die_!?"

Her cool reply contrasted with her manic driving. "Kick back and relax, Wasabi. You're in good hands. Eat your lunch, and let me do the work." The sight would've been funny if his life wasn't on the line.

"Easier said than done, Sonic the Hedgehog," Wasabi retorted. He tried in vain to eat his food. The delicate art of eating with chopsticks went out the window (not literally out the car window; Wasabi would never litter), so he settled for picking at the sushi with his fingers. He saw with distaste that the previously flower-shaped wasabi paste had collapsed into a mess in his bento box, covering most of the sushi in the less-than-pleasant green stuff. Wasabi winced as he stuffed a piece of sushi into his mouth and tried to brave through the spicy sensation.

Then he felt the breath in his gut knocked out of him as GoGo slammed on the break. She slapped an open palm on the center of her wheel and held it there. The car emitted a long honk. Angry Korean insults slipped from her lips as she badmouthed an idiot driver in front of her. Wasabi's chest smarted from the seat belt that had restrained him and kept him from flying through the front of GoGo's car. Then he felt himself being thrown back once again as GoGo hit the gas pedal and sped past slow cars that got in her way. The screaming of tire wheels was quickly replaced by the aggressive thrum of the car engine.

Wasabi's eyes fell on the traffic intersection, then they flew wide. "GoGo, you need to stop-"

Too late. GoGo made her car tear through even as the yellow traffic light flickered to red.

Wasabi whirled around and his mouth dropped open. "W-we just ran a red light! I saw a camera flash!"

"Don't worry, ticket's on me. You don't have to pay a penny."

Wasabi wanted to cry inside, and it was not because of the wasabi raging in his mouth and clearing his sinuses. He looked up with despair stamped all over his face. "Guilt by association. I...I've become a criminal. Mama and Lord above, have mercy on my soul." When he finished his melodramatic moaning, Wasabi spared a glance at GoGo and said incredulously, "Are you _seriously_rolling your eyes at me!? Keep them on the _road_!"

"Oh, please. I know this route so well I can drive with my eyes closed."

Horror filled Wasabi like a cold wave. "Please don't. For the love of God and all things holy, please don't."

"Calm down and quit being such a drama queen, Wasabi. Nerd school's not far ahead."

Lunch abandoned, Wasabi scrunched his eyes shut, clasped his hands on the armrests, and attempted to sing Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer." He clutched the armrests so tightly that the dark skin around his knuckles grew white.

GoGo only chuckled and shook her head in amusement. "I wonder which is higher: my speedometer, or your blood pressure," she casually remarked.

Wasabi stopped in the middle of his singing and gawked at her. "Are you trying to freak me out!?"

"I'm trying to get us to class on time. You'll thank me later."

"If there ever _is_ a later!" Wasabi shouted back.

Any longer in GoGo's speeding car, and Wasabi thought for certain that the little lunch he ate would end up decorating her windshield. Thankfully, somehow, and by some miracle, he and GoGo arrived in campus on time and unharmed. Wasabi blew out a gusty sigh of relief and slumped in his seat as GoGo finally slowed her car to humanely reasonable parking lot speed. He supposed he could eat his lunch now, but he no longer had any appetite to take care of it. Maybe he could eat it later in class; the good thing about most Japanese food was that it still tasted good when cold.

GoGo looked down at her watch and cracked a smug grin. "Five minutes to spare. We cut it close today, but what matters is that we still have time beat."

As soon as she found a parking spot, GoGo turned off the ignition and smoothly stepped out. Wasabi was less than suave. He stumbled out of the car like a dazed drunkard, and pointed a shaking finger at her accusingly. "Remind me...to never drive with you...when we're rushing to class."

GoGo quirked an eyebrow. "You're welcome...I guess."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you got a good laugh out of this.<strong>

**Some clarification in case you're not familiar with the terminology:**

**-Onigiri are rice balls partly wrapped in seaweed. Otherwise infamously known as "jelly-filled donuts" in the cringe-worthy, whitewashed English dub of Pokemon season 1.**

**-Mandopop is Chinese pop, more precisely Mandarin pop.**

**1/25/2015 update: So I didn't know till now that GoGo is confirmed to be Korean, not Japanese. (Awesome, Disney's 1st Korean character!) I had to go back and make a few changes on this fic. I'm surprised no one corrected me after all this time haha.**


End file.
